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I’ll skip over the gory details of the extensive analyses and controls that the researchers imposed, but rest assured that they did everything they could to tease apart their findings.In general, the findings supported the hypothesis that having sex early (defined here as within a month of dating) was related to poorer relationship outcomes for men and women.
Rather than going through the process of critically evaluating whether the relationship is right for them, they make the decision to marry out of factors such as convenience, economics, or—the sex.
Cornell University policy researcher Sharon Sassler and her research team recently decided to study relationship “tempo.” Based on the hypothesis that churning leads people to enter less than satisfactory relationships, they investigated the connection between the timing of when couples first had sex to their later perceptions of relationship quality.
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Chaotic and impulsive, these series of entries and exits into relationships, called “churning,” take their toll.
Relationships that form under these circumstances, should they lead to marriage, are more likely to suffer in terms of quality.
The researchers weren’t sure if this finding reflected something unusual about the sample or that people just aren’t very good at estimating how long it takes for a relationship to progress to sexual intimacy. The slower the lead-up to sex, the better the relationship.
For women, but not for men, the longer the delay between dating and sex, the better the perception of current relationship quality.
Before they know it, they’re making plans to move in together.
Unfortunately, many of these hurried unions lead to disappointment as the relationship falls apart before it’s even had time to take shape.
Close relationship researchers have known for years that couples who cohabitate before marriage (and are not engaged) are more likely to divorce or, if they remain together, experience poor marital quality.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating