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Even if that ulra-cliche and low effort soap opera parody scenario actually unfolded, why in the ever-loving fuck would you, a producer, pick this time and place to confront him?The most frustrating common thread of almost all the segments is that seemingly everyone has a total lack of muscle coordination, a complete unwillingness to pick up the various weapons available to defend themselves, and no idea when it is time to run or call the cops or both.

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The bike segment is the most egregious offender of this.

We literally open the scene by establishing that this guy is a BIKING enthusiast riding his BIKE on a BIKING TRAIL and he makes a CALL on his CELL PHONE, indicating that not only does he have a cellular device, he definitively HAS SERVICE, and yet this young, athletic, annoying fuck ("Thanks, babe. See ya soon, babe.") bumbles into zombie-dom with little to no resistance.

But for me, when you already have no characters and no story, you'd better at least give me semi-competent nobodies to root for or against, or otherwise acknowledge what you're lacking.

Frustrating, cheesy, and oddly deliberate despite its insistence on totally feigned naturalism, V/H/S/2 loses the dark and gritty nature of the original and all semblance of believability, even within its own universe.

But it apparently takes itself seriously, and the lines within each segment indicate that there's no tongue-in-cheek or winking-at-the-audience quality present.

Which makes the constant stupidity of literally everything inexcusable.

Even the highly praised "Safe Haven" segment is rife with completely idiotic setups and character choices.

Worst of all is that they can't even get the film-related stuff right in a fucking film.

The higher production value doesn't come close to making up for that.

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