Moving from just dating to exclusive
Read the responses I received below, and meet me in the comments to discuss.“When I was ready to bring up the conversation to my current girlfriend of three years, I took an entire day to prep.
The fulfillment from discovering intense reciprocated feelings for another person is truly incredible. Curiosity about the future still exists once the relationship has been defined, but the thrill of the unknown morphs into something closer to the comfort of stability.”“I don’t think it’s ever been a comfortable conversation as an adult, but that’s mainly because the relationship I am currently in happened while we were studying abroad. Are you going to feel this way when we go back home? ’ I think it’s deciding to accept the label, as opposed to just discussing it.”“From what I’ve seen, it’s a false stereotype that men avoid DTRing and that, conversely, women are eager to DTR.
But it is also exhilarating to actively wonder how the other person feels about you in the early stages. We weren’t planning to fall for each other like we did, but after about a month it became clear that we had deep feelings for each other and this was not going to be casual for much longer. Does it matter if we don’t feel this way in a couple of months? Admitting it was a risk, not because I thought my feelings were invalid but because I knew it was possible she didn’t feel the same. We are still together five years later, and I love her even more now than I did then.”“Do I dread it? I’ve only had this sort of conversation with people I like. It’s not exactly something to look forward to, it’s just something that should happen. I’ve known plenty of guys who’ve been obsessed with a girl and really wanted to DTR because they felt like they were being dicked around by her.
Our understanding of masculinity needs to be re-examined.
It’s okay for men to be eager to have the talk, too.”“I try to keep things casual until I can gauge how she feels about me.
But because I was still in the closet, each time he mentioned any sort of label or action that was a step beyond what I was comfortable with (such as calling me his boyfriend or wanting to go on dates), I would ghost him for a few weeks. Now that I’m out of the closet, I wish I’d been ready at the time to try moving into something more serious with him.”“My girlfriend might say I was hesitant about having this conversation, and she would be right, but my hesitancy came from being methodical rather than reluctant.
I was ready to define our relationship once I was confident in my feelings.
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She said no…but we’re together today, and I’m so thankful she changed her mind!
”“As someone who very much enjoys being in a relationship (when I’m really into someone), I look forward to having the DTR talk once I’ve gathered up enough data to convince myself that the relationship would be worth pursuing further.
And yet, I understand why the conversation requires a leap of faith, especially if one person is ready to broach it and the other isn’t, or if two people want two different things.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating