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Others dismiss fuck-buddy dynamics as just being compulsive sex that’s devoid of emotion. Surely it’s possible to find a middle ground between eternal love and zombie-fucking a stranger: a place where you can care about someone, have good sex, and yet not want to literally implode at the thought of them sleeping with someone else. Case in point: The most significant romantic friendship of my life was with an ex-editor of mine, whom I’ll call Malcolm.

We started “a thing” five years ago and have yet to end it.

Afterward, when they’re lying in bed together, Betty says of Don’s new wife, “That poor girl.

She doesn’t know that loving you is the worst way to get to you.” Harsh.

This arrangement would generally be called a friend with benefits, or a fuck buddy, or a romantic friendship, or perhaps even a relationship—with “no strings attached.” But let’s be real: There are always strings, aren’t there?

It was while planning this vacation that it hit me: The two longest relationships of my life have both been with men who I was never officially dating.

It started when she was 13, with a boy whose family spent every summer in the same beach town as she did.

(Cute alert.)Over martinis at Cafe Mogador, Casey told me, “When I’m dating someone, my immediate impulse is to be like, ‘Let’s lock shit down!

Or at least, without getting super-jealous and –esque?

Some assume that one of the “buddies” is always being strung along, secretly hoping that the fucking leads to something more serious.

I told Malcolm about my previous relationships, my fantasies, my heartbreak.

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