Sure, we’re all guilty of telling the occasional white lie, but when you’re in a relationship, honesty is generally the best policy — particularly if you want it to last. But just ’cause you’re being so real with him, it doesn’t mean he’s going to pay you the same courtesy. After being lied to all the time instead of walking away, you’ll surrender to not knowing what to believe. After seeing the way your BF lies and makes you feel insecure, your friends might call you crazy for staying with him.However, when you end up dating a guy who not only flubs the details on the little things but compulsively lies about the big stuff too, it completely screws with your head. You don’t know if what he said about his weekend whereabouts was true, you don’t know if he meant what he said about calling or about liking you so much… A liar won’t feel sympathy for you because he’s too wrapped up in his own BS. Sooner or later, you and the compulsive liar will get into a huge fight. It’s a horrible place to be because it means you don’t believe him but you don’t doubt him enough to walk away, so you’re stuck in limbo. But you want to stick around because you want the guy he used to be to return. You hope you’re wrong and he’s telling you the truth.
Although what a guy does is important, usually more important than his words, the compulsive liar knows how to con you with actions.
He’s going to do everything right: he’ll meet you for your date on time, he’ll show you support when you need it, and so on. Even if he tells you something that seems to make sense, there’ll always be a detail or two in the story that stick out for you and make you feel that they don’t fit.
Giulia Simolo Giulia is a freelance writer living in Johannesburg, South Africa.
She writes for local and international websites, with a special interest in writing about dating.
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