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What the expression really is saying is – “I am in love with the idea of being in love” AND “I really think you are the answer for ME”! This should be mutually agreed to and clearly understood by both Christian singles. It is very important that each person have their own accountability group of their own gender.
The progress of the Christian dating relationship should be shared so that their objectivity and accountability can be a valuable resource to the couple. Once a couple is satisfied that there is something to take to the next level, the couple should develop a plan in how they can best get to know each other in “real settings” not just in Christian dating situations.
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It would be especially helpful to take the inventories mentioned above to the counselor for their input. It is very important that the couple receive affirmations from family and friends during this stage.
If they do not (unless there is a good reason), the couple should take the time to listen to the concerns and take steps to ensure that they are embracing and working through them. Once a couple arrives at the point that they “know” that they want to be married and have all the affirmations that they can receive, they can move from the Christian dating stage with confidence into the engagement stage. I do not recommend a prolonged engagement once the couple decides to get married.
But character is the foundation upon which commitment is built.
Character does not change just because one gets married.
(Note: As soon as I say Christian dating guide, every single Christian reading this will think they are an exception and the timing noted does not apply to them. One of the strangest phenomenons that I have observed is that singles dating behavior is more common than most of us think.
I encourage you to not look for the “exception” but where you can build the type of Christian dating relationship that will serve you and your partner well for years to come.) 1.
The Myers-Briggs temperament sorting is another excellent source of information that each person should know about themselves and each other.) 3.
At least 4 sessions should be spent with a Christian counselor who is trained in pre-marital counseling.
This often means that a healthy bonding is not taking place and the emphasis is upon self-satisfaction in this Christian dating relationship. It is very important to look for CHARACTER issues in each other during this stage of Christian dating.
Give yourself enough time and enough settings where character issues can surface. Individuals can “mask” character issues for an extended period of time – especially a few months during the fantasy period of Christian dating.
It is important that there be a “pre” engagement period of time.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating