Couples therapy after 3 months of dating
Brandon and I had met on a dating app a little bit before I found out. Brandon still wanted to stay with me and he has been with me ever since then. Ellington’s biological dad is still in the picture and he sees him about every other weekend. I had to get a new car, because I was driving a Beetle at the time. If I had known she was pregnant, I would not have gone on the first date.
But I did, and I realized how amazing she was before I figured out the news.
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She found out, told Brandon, and they decided to continue dating. Today, they have a three year old son and just recently married.
Of course, the transition from casually dating to caring for a child together wasn’t easy.
But it’s a good time to catch up and feel like we’re dating again – Yeah. Brandon gets me flowers every month and I get him a card every month. We try to say hi and give each other affection when we first see each other when we’re leaving for or coming back from somewhere.
One of the things that we did, and then dropped the ball on, but are going to start doing again, was proactively going to couple’s therapy.
There were issues that we went to specifically address, but we also would go when there really weren’t issues, to the point where I felt like it was backfiring at one point, because we’d be really happy when we go in and come out kind of arguing about things.
But I think we both recognize the importance of work in the relationship, and it’s really easy to not recognize that and I have to constantly remind myself that it’s not ‘done’ just because we’re married. He knew it was going to be a while before that could happen, and we still did what we could to make sure his needs were met in that area. We were both so tired — it definitely takes a toll on your sex drive.
It’s a high-stress time, and we just had to go in with both feet and deal with it.
And that’s how it’s always been: As we’ve dated, and now gotten married, whenever we face tough situations, we pull together and just support each other and do it. It was 36 hours from when my contractions started until the actual birth.
That’s just how we naturally have worked and it’s worked out really well. I was starting a program at a nonprofit at the time, so I was working 16 hour days, seven days a week. They had to break my water and I just wasn’t dilating. This was my first birth so I was like, The end of it was awesome.
It sounds not ideal, and in a way, it obviously wasn’t. Because when you’re trying to get to know somebody, a lot of people date and have a honeymoon period and things tend to be pretty easy. Which is sort of what you’re focusing on: how do things change after marriage? I just thought I was like bloated and I couldn’t lose this five pounds and I was like: What’s the deal? I was eating super healthy because I worked in health and wellness at the time. But 36 hours was definitely long, and I probably should have done a little bit of research into what happens when somebody gives birth and how cold they tend to make it in that room.
But I thought she was terminally ill, and in reality, she was only pregnant.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating