Being too needy dating

You´re still not over your ex and you talk about your ex too much.

If you’ve completely screwed things up by being needy, insecure, etc, and given everything so the guy doesn’t feel the need to commit to you anymore, is there any hope in hell of changing things around, considering the renewed attitude I received thanks to you guys?

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Have you notice how often guys say, “Aw, man, she was too needy–you know what I mean? Yet, very often, it is the guy who is needy, who can’t let go, who acts like a lost puppy, or worse, a controlling wolf. Or surely you saw Julia last week, why do you need to see her again so soon? He may gradually try to separate you from them; to put distance between you and them so he becomes the only confidante in your life.

If he thinks he has to control you, he is an extremely needy man. Explain that you need to be able to concentrate on your work or studies and, although it’s cute, it’s just too distracting. Usually between spending time with your friends and him. Surely, you were with your friends all day, why would you want to be with them tonight as well?

You keep asking him if he loves you, if he finds you attractive, or if he´s happy with you. You give away any kind of power you have in the relationship, you become his subordinate, which results to power imbalance. You fear rejection, so you give up your identity in order to be the woman you think he will love and cherish. You can´t be happy alone, so even if you´re not happy in this relationship, you stay. You badly need this relationship, so you are willing to bow, stretch and bend backward in order to please him. You give everything early in the relationship, without leaving anything for yourself, and hoping to negotiate reciprocity later. You are attracted to any man who shows interest in you because you´ve been lonely or dejected way too long. If he´s annoyed, upset, sad or worried, then you´re annoyed, upset, sad or worried, in that order. That includes changing his appearance, his job, his hobbies and interests, and whatever flaws you think he´s got. You post lots of photos of the two of you in your Facebook, Twitter and Instagram accounts. You´ll require more from him to fill your emptiness.

If a man gives you less importance and affection, ignores or abuses you, you complain but you don´t leave. You stop being the boss of yourself, he becomes your boss. This is the opposite of the needy woman who drops her identity on a whim, because in this case, you want to change him to suit your need. No matter how modern you think you are or that you´re a millennial, it´s still strange for a woman to say “I love you” first. If you haven´t done the work of letting go your past hurts, you are going to fill that void from your current partner.

The way that the girl treated me meant something about me (in my mind).

And after that, I rebounded hard in the other direction – the next time, I was the one who invested nothing into my next relationship… It wasn’t until I truly realized that how the other person treats me or acts in a relationship has NOTHING to do with me that I was finally set free.What comes back to you from him is what he’s naturally and effortlessly happy to give you back for it… If it’s not enough, remember that you’re *single* until you’re locked down.Your situation might be comfortable and familiar, but if it’s not what you really want, then it’s a waste of time to try and force it to be something it’s not. It was a hit to my self-image and ego and I got sucked into to chasing that part of myself I felt I had lost…The fact was, at that time I identified with my relationship.The number one reason women have so much trouble getting themselves out of a position like this is because they fixate more and more attention on the guy as he gives less and less. I’m not talking about holding back or intentionally trying to manipulate a guy by “making him work for you” with games and tricks. What I do recommend is you recognize that you’re choosing the situation you’re in and that choice is looking more and more like an ineffective strategy in getting the guy to have a relationship with you in the way you want. Sure, he’ll say all sorts of nice things to you to keep you as invested as possible in him. After all, he doesn’t want a relationship, he doesn’t want a title, he doesn’t want to be exclusive.

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