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Sometimes a “ceremony” or “rite of passage” of some kind (on the analogy of the Jewish Bar- or Bat-Mitzvah) can be helpful in redefining roles and establishing new parameters.If your child is still living at home, it’s particularly important to spell things out as clearly as possible.Now that our son is past eighteen, should he still obey us?
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Speaking of , it seems significant that you gave this word such a prominent place in your question.
Where there’s a struggle for control between parents and adult children, there are usually deeper issues lurking beneath the surface – issues having to do with respect and personal boundaries.
Whether or not he takes immediate advantage of the opportunity, he has the right to leave home and make his own way in the world.
Very soon, if not already, his personal decisions will have to be something more than a matter of simple “submission” to Mom’s and Dad’s injunctions.
They can also provide referrals to Christian family counselors practicing in your local area.
You need to be able to say, “As you approach adulthood, here’s what changes and here’s what stays the same.” Above all, resist the temptation to manipulate or control.
You’re free to make as many rules as you like, but make sure they are reasonable and deal with significant issues.
He will have to choose to act on the basis of the wisdom you’ve attempted to instill in him over the years and out of an awareness of his personal responsibility toward his Creator.
If he attends church, it should be because because he’s adhering to a curfew.
He or she may also ask the adult child to behave in ways that are unhealthy, inadvisable, or downright damaging – for example, by requiring the child to have Sunday dinner at the parents’ house every week in spite of potential conflict with the child’s spouse.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating