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(Meaning a relationship with HER.) It is to This Man — the one who knows how to love and is ready to do it again — that I advise a woman to extend kindness, patience and empathy.
And when it’s gone, he’s left with the kids (maybe) and his job (maybe). So if he knows what he wants and is ready for love again, he takes his search for a new partner seriously – and that’s the gem of dating a widower. But, as with all of those other big life experiences, being widowed isn’t the end of the story. Together they are traveling the world and running marathons. And it’s not like she had to ‘make him’ do it – he loved adding that to his life! Some have remained in great relationships with them (like Karen above).
Look, here’s my best advice: know your must have’s, and go into every date looking for at least one thing that is RIGHT about him. It is true that some think they are ready but not (just like after a breakup, right? Don’t assume any specific number of months or years is required until he’s ready. In fact just writing that makes me feel like throwing up.
For those who have lost a spouse and are looking to date again, here are ten tips to help you successfully navigate the dating waters.
There's no specific time period one should wait before dating again.
The idea of dating and falling in love again seems like an impossible mountain to climb.
So what should you do when you find yourself interested in dating someone who’s been widowed?
I admit that as a coach who teaches women to date like a grownup, I assumed that it would be taken for granted that it is never okay to stick around and accept bad behavior or be treated like a doormat.
(Yah, I know about the assume thing.) Many of you spoke of excesses: droning on and on, posting on Facebook how much he misses her, baking her birthday cakes every year and hanging her pictures on the wall…absolutely these are all likely deal-breakers.
There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
Upon losing a spouse, widows often find it hard to proceed with life even on the most basic level.
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